If you like to laugh at my stories, don't read this one.

I've never been proposed to. And I probably never will. I type this with a smile on my face, not a tear in my eye so don't go feeling all bad for me. But I have been told I'm loved in creative (and not so creative) ways. One of my ex's called me up and told me he had gotten me a ticket to the Flaming Lips Boombox experiment 1 hour before showtime. He came and got me (slight buzz on) and we ran down to Central Square. As we were descending the stairs to the club with dozens of others, he turned and pulled me in close and said "Dani, I fucking love you." I almost burst into tears...and then saw one of the coolest shows ever. Another memorable "I love you" was during a snowstorm. We were outside frolicking around in the snow. Boyfriend calls me over and points to the ground where he had written "I LOVE YOU" in the snow. Eventually the snow melted as did the relationship.

Now to my point. If you are going to propose to someone, here is some advice. It doesn't matter where you do it, how you do it, and what strip mall gumball machine you got the ring from. Here is the key: have an amazing plan for after she says yes, or a pint of bourbon for when she says no. A concert and reserved table/booth equipped with champagne and fun friends is my best idea yet. And for the losers who get turned down, Knob Creek is bourbon of choice.

Go get 'em tiger!